Thoughts of a King
by jro0118
Summary: Aragorn lies dying on the Pelennor fields and he wonders many thoughts and thinks about his life and loves...ITS GOOD


Why am I here? Away from you I feel nothing save for these wounds, some that might never heal. Why am I here? Are you even alive? Fighting in vain as king I am for my people, but as a love I am to you, I wish this was right. I might think these my last desperate moments with you in my head.  
I'll leave my head open for you to haunt me with your voice. I'll try to keep focused on you as long as I can breath. Where are you now? Are you thinking of me? Are you frightened of what is to come if I fail? The sea calls does it not? Your people have left don't you feel alone? None of your kin are staying, don't be left behind.  
Do you remember how it used to be? Those beautiful days when we didn't have any cares at all save for each other. I can still remember but the evil that is consuming me is making it vague. My time is nearing end. Our time is nearing end. I do not know what to say, and I am sorry that it had to be this way. I am sorry  
  
I lay here torn with agony, I'm afraid because even I do not know what is to come. My sword can only do so much. I am beginning to realize what I am against, and if I could I would choose not to be here. I would choose to be with you as this world comes crashing down. I would choose to be with you and only you and hold you one last time. The warmth of your love will guide me to my end. Just thinking of you is not enough, and had I one wish as I depart from this world I would choose to be with you.  
There are so many things left unsaid. I feel distant from you. There are so many things I wish I could do, so many mistakes I wish I could fix. But this war has tarnished most of our fates and lives. What I am seeing is increasingly becoming the fate of the world. I see my friends fighting, but they do not deserve this. Too much death. Where is the point at which our paths end? I cannot see the end of this.  
These tears on my face will not cease. I wish to see you, for one last time before my life and love is spent. Though this whole collection of thoughts is to be my reflection on you before I die, the true feeling that I do feel cannot be described. I cannot tell you my deepest feeling that I have wanted to say, because it is not possible for me to, and that is what is truly killing me.  
I now know what is making me feel this way, and it is you. You are my everything. I do not want to go, not yet, not when you are still alive. I don't want to miss anything. I would like to take you with me, but I cannot, for that would be too much to ask. So it is here, on these fields stained with blood and battle, which my life ends. As king, and as a man, death has met me. I must not sleep, I must not give in. The pain is relentless, as is the voice of you inside of my head giving me strength. I'm sorry that I cannot see you again. I have failed. Forgive me, for I can't even imagine what you are going through, but it is all because I am not with you. I am sorry.  
I can only lie here and think of you. I cannot move, I cannot speak, I cannot see, save for the image of you in my head. I can only lie here and think, and wonder. Where are you right now? I love you so much. The light is fading, the sounds relenting. I am losing you in my head. Please stay......please. I feel helpless; I am losing feeling......-Frodo.... Frodo I am sorry. We have sent you to your death. It is all very clear now. I do not want to say it, but there is no hope. Alive or not, I will honor you with my utmost respect while I am king. I cannot give you enough of my apologies. You didn't know what your destiny was, and I am sorry I wasn't there to protect you. Frodo.....I cannot explain my feelings. I cannot explain much of anything now, but I still wonder. There is still so much more to do, so much more that I must do. I am inundated with responsibilities that I must see done, as in saving my people, my kingdom, and the fate of men, but things don't look so good. My bloodline has failed; Isildur's Bane has caught up with me. Is this really the end? I've seen so much, been to so many places, and met so many people. Legolas, Gimli, my friends...my brothers...My time has come. You are both truly warriors of your kind. I know you will see this war to its end and you will fight valiantly along the way. Please, take that ship into the west someday, for me. Gandalf, my friend, I'm sorry I cannot live this war through. It is up to you. You are the only hope for this land. I wish we could have had a proper good-bye for we have known one another and grown to love each other. Fight on my friend, fight until the Valar themselves come down upon you to take you back to the lands of the Blessed Realm.  
There is a feeling I can't describe. I know my life is not complete, and that is my own fault. I am sorry. Arwen......I am sorry. I love you. This is it, it is all dark. The fighting, the anguish, the despair is all fading. The pain has ceased, but it is still dark I can now only wait for death to take me and it is coming fast. I now know...in these enduring last few moments of my life I now can see clearly. The only purpose of my life was to be with you, and I have not fulfilled my purposed as well as I wanted to. For that I am sorry. I wish I was with you. There is still so much that I must say, so much that I must do, but I must face death now. My tale has ended. My soul will go across the High Sea and into the West. White shores and a far a green countryside under a swift sunrise. My spirit goes to the Halls of Mandos where no one, save for Manwe and Mandos himself, knows my fate. We will meet again, but do not weep for me, for I am fine. Now, for the last time, good-bye....Arwen, I love you. 


End file.
